Men and Women are different. One point here……
It’s been my experience that more men than women are comfortable with solitude. Some of us even prefer it.
“Solitude” both in the literal sense (being alone), and the figurative sense (being single).
You see this with young women as they fret over being single, even if just for a few weeks. Many of the girls I knew in high school wouldn’t leave their boyfriend, even if they hated him, until they had another one lined up. I never knew a boy with the same mentality. If they didn’t like their girlfriend, they dumped her, not worrying about being single for a while. They may fret over the lack of sex, but not the lack of being in a relationship.
That trend continued in college. The girls who were single acted like they were somehow failures… like they were incomplete… The guys who were single were fine with it. Sometimes, their girlfriend dumping them actually made them happier.
When I used to study alone in a room after college/ after work, just there sitting with papers, pen and computer and my mom began seeing me do that day in and day out, it took her a while to realize just how comfortable I was with solitude. I lived alone for several years before being in a relationship. I wasn’t sad in those years. Rather, most days, I really enjoyed going home to nothing after attending a class or after work.
Still, from time to time, my mom and girllfriend will find me sitting alone or trying to spend some time alone in a room in our house, not watching TV, not on my computer or phone, not reading, not listening to anything… just sitting there, enjoying the solitude. She gets it now. She leaves me alone. Both of them I mean.
I like to think that this goes back to the old stalking/hunting days of yore. Something about being alone for extended periods of time just makes me, and a lot of other guys, feel “right.”
Men and Women are biologically wired in a different way and recognising that and respecting that will help co-habituate better.
